Savoring

My child, he is all kinds of wonderful. I'm blessed!  I'm blessed to call this little boy mine.  I'm blessed that our days are spent together.  I'm blessed to be a stay-at-home mama.

Even when the day is so soaked with hard and crazy that you could wring it out hundred times and still be knee deep in it all, his sweet grin and beyond-his-years words light our little world right up. He's a gift.  I live for moments and days like this.

When the October sun and sky are perfect for making and discovering our shadows.  We play outside and enjoy the world God made. This simple time together is my favorite part of life.  Memories I'll keep in my pocket the whole year through.

Thank you, God for these gifts!

More than enough

Someone asked me the other day if I still had a blog, and I felt something catch in my throat. You see, I love my blog. I love looking back over this amazing journey God has created. I love our little family.  I love looking back on memories and moments.  I love watching my son grow and reliving the little milestones of his life.   Lately, so many things have come in the way of me having time to keep up on here.  I am learning very quickly that raising, training, disciplining, and teaching a child, keeping a home, and having the marriage I desire is no easy feat.  There are just days I can't do it all.

God blessed me with the loves of my life and I need to be there

for him...

 and for him...

Some days I am left wondering am I ever going to be enough...

good enough
wise enough
strong enough

healthy enough
spiritual enough

mothering enough

teaching enough 

organized enough

 Then I'm left with the realization I never will be.

In the still of the morning, as my feet hit the floor and a new day has begun, I seek His face. And I am reminded once again that I don't have to be. Because He is. He is enough.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

So today, I begin anew.  One foot in front of the other, relying on Him, trusting in Him, seeking His face in all I do.  Blog posts may go unwritten, laundry may pile up, dishes may be waiting in the sink, emails may go unanswered for a few days. However, I keep moving forward even when I fail, when things go undone, even when I can't be enough.  Because He never expected me to be perfect. He never expected me to have all of the answers. He never expected me to do it on my own.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."  II Corinthians 12:9

Living in the moment

A couple of nights ago at church I found out that a friend is joining the ranks of those who bravely and proudly bear the title SAHM (stay at home mom).  I'm thrilled for her.  I know she and her husband have made many sacrifices for her to make this transition home to raise their precious daughter and baby on the way.   I loved watching her face beam with delight and hearing the anticipation and excitement in her voice, no doubt dreaming of all the exciting adventures of mommy and me time ahead.

This morning as I began my morning trek, I kept thinking back to the conversation I had with my friend; what a sweet reminder of dreams coming true and blessings abounding.  As I walked I began praying and evaluating my role as a SAHM.  By nature, I am a task oriented person.  I love to-do lists. I thrive being able to check something off.   I began to wonder...do my lists override me sometimes living and being in the moment with my toddler?  As Titus and I  neared the park, I couldn't help but take in the beauty of autumn:  the colors, the crisp cool air, and the peaceful anticipation of a day just beginning.  As the wind blew and leaves tumbled to the ground, I found myself looking up and admiring the beautiful canopy of trees over the path.  I even stopped a few times to take in the sweet beauty of the sun shinning through the leaves. Gorgeous!  Had it not been for the colors of the season, the light shinning through the leaves, and the sweet reminder of a friend's dream come true, I probably would have just kept walking to cross another task off my to-do list.  But, not today!

 Far too often my days become ordinary.  I lose the excitement, anticipation, blessing and vision Kevin and I share of me staying at home with our child(ren).  However, in that moment,  I quickly pulled the stroller off the path and decided to take in the moment and put aside my to do list.  The list of daily tasks waiting to be checked off could wait.  This moment with my toddler could not.

Ahhhh....leaf love!  We ran. We threw.  We piled high.  We jumped.  We watched leaves dance and twirl to the ground. We experienced pure joy.

  Thank you, Father for the precious reminder of true blessings, 

of living in the moments,

and looking beyond the ordinary!