We have been exceedingly blessed to meet and get to know most of Titus' precious caregivers from when he was in Taiwan. They have touched our lives more than they will ever know. We love and pray for them often and enjoy getting together with them whenever we can. I cannot even put into words the blessings they have been in our little family's life. Their hands and hearts loved and cared for our little man before we ever could.
Adrian and Kalyn, like us, live in the great state of Kansas and about once a year they have had a reason to travel to travel to KC and drop in for a visit. We are always blessed by their time and are so thankful that they care so much about our little boy. They are an amazing couple. Truth be known, they even celebrated their first year of marriage serving in Taiwan. Their hearts and life amaze me! Thank you Adrian and Kalyn for your love and care for our family!
Kelsey is another young lady who was also one of Titus caregivers and is a friend and alumni of Adrian and Kalyn's. In March 2011, during their spring break from college the three of them took a
road trip around the Midwest and visited many of the families of the
babies they took care of. We missed seeing Kelsey this year but she
has a great excuse; currently she is a very busy lady, serving for a
year at THOGL caring for 23 babies. You can follow her adventure at: http://goservelove.blogspot.com
In October of 2010, soon after we brought Titus home this sweet trio also came for a visit to see our little guy. Titus has grown and changed so much since that first year.
Natalie, was also a caregiver of Titus'. She currently resides in the St. Louis, and has an amazing heart for the orphan. So much so, that within less than of year of she and her husband marrying they decided to adopt. They are currently in the process of adopting twin baby boys from Africa. I have loved following Dan and Natalie's journey and can't wait to see their precious boys finally in their arms.
While serving in Taiwan, Natalie wrote a sweet letter to the babies. I remember reading her letter while we were waiting to bring our baby home and bawling but also feeling once again reassured that our Titus was loved and cared for. I even printed her letter and saved it for Titus to read someday. http://littlethingsbigstuff.com/2010/07/27/a-letter/
And if I'm not mistaken Titus is the baby pictured at the bottom of her post. :)
In 2011, Natalie traveled to KC where we met up for brunch to catch up and for her to once again see and hold Titus.
"Christ
has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours.
Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to
look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good;
and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." Author Unknown
Thank you to each of Titus' caregivers for blessing our family so much through volunteering your time, your energy and your wants and desires all to be the hands and feet of Jesus. You have blessed us so!
What it's like to decide to grow your family and botta-boom, less than a year later there's another delicious baby to hold and love. A new name added to the Christmas card. Ten more finger nails to clip.
I can't quite wrap my brain around it. It's not how our story has played
out, so I wonder. Simple as that. Just like I wonder what it would be
like to live in Hawaii or if it's going to rain tonight or what this new year will bring. I wonder stuff.
I used to be jealous. Oh yes, I was. Wow, she's expecting again? She *just* told me they were hoping to get pregnant soon. Woe is me. When will it be my turn? Where's the chocolate! Those feelings came from a place of deep sadness, but it doesn't make them ok. Jealousy
is a stinker. It steals joy and makes you think crazy things. It's a
slippery slope into empty and lonely. It's wrong
and it's yuck. No thanks. Moving on.
I have no lingering infertility
sadness or a desire to give birth that just won't quit. God has poured
that out of me and healed me. He has brought adoption into
my life and it's the gift that keeps unwrapping itself. Not only does it
give Kevin and me the opportunity to be parents, it's also opening my
eyes wide to the hurt and the need and the beauty of this world. My
heart is in a peaceful place right now and has been in this sweet
little space for a while, thanks be to Jesus and all the grace He doles
out on me. Clearly, it hasn't always been this way. I used to fret when
my ideal family portrait didn't match up with what He was cooking up for
us :
Waiting countless years for a kiddo? Fret like a maniac.
I want to adopt again stat. I don't want to wait. Fret.
Our kids need to be two years apart. I read in some random magazine that two years is the golden rule of sibling spacing. Fret.
That's not a way to live out this
precious life. It's not the way to appreciate all the good staring me
in the face and wrapping itself around me. So I'm done with that. God's
gifts abound and I'm seeing them. Truly seeing them instead of
past them. I take Titus' sweet little face in my hands
and smooch him til he wiggles and giggles away. He'll be be three this winter. And for a year I've fretted, I've worried, I've prayed.
Maybe there are people who look at me and wonder what it's like to not be able to grow your family when you want to. To
need tens and tens of thousands of dollars to do it. To wait and wait
and wait without a due date. To grasp a photo in your hand and love a baby born across an ocean. To
look into almondy eyes and want to do a backflip because being in love
with this child is the best.thing.ever. To be such a perfectly perfect
match must be something.
If you're wondering, it is. The best kind of something.
After eighteen months of praying and waiting and wondering, and hoping we are pleased to announce that we are once again going back to Taiwan for our next little one. For a year it seemed as if God was closing one door after another: THOGL is only helping childless couples, 2012 child advocacy laws in Taiwan slowed adoptions way down, most agencies began shutting down their Taiwan programs due to the confusion of the 2012 laws and changes looming. But, finally God opened a single door and we are trusting Him and longing to meet and hold our second little blessing.
So yes, I wonder, but mostly I pray prayers of thanks and tag on extra whispers for our next littles. I'm here and ready when you are. Keep heaping that peace to my heart, Lord. I
rest my head on the pillow of God's promises. It's comfy here. I'm
content and hopeful. He's got this whole thing covered - something He's
proven time and time again. He's the one who hands out the gifts - whether I've hoped for them for a moment or for years. Who better to receive them from?
Kevin and I, we were that couple. The one left
with empty arms and heavy hearts while the rest of the couples of the
entire world conceived without even trying and gave birth to baby after
baby. At least it seemed that way.
And then we were that couple. The one with a spring in our step
and smiles as wide as the sea. We held onto hope like it was a kite
bouncing in the wind. With adoption everything is up in the air, so we
grabbed on and tilted our faces to the sun, catching a glimpse of the
beauty at the end of that long string. We pulled tight and waited nine months to the day.
April 24, 2010 came and hope tagged along for the ride across the world. We received the call and heard the name and held the photos of that tiny babe with dark almond
eyes and we fell in love. Hard and fast and something fierce. For the first
time in what felt like years, we breathed deep. This little wonder all
wrapped up in an outfit of light blue and white was our own. The one we had
prayed for all along.
Titus Andrew, in your short little life you have experienced grief and loss; joy and love and by God's
grace, love sits on top. Being a part of your story and living this life
as your mama is a dream and a gift. Your daddy and I are so very proud
of you.
It is the eve before Titus' second birthday and my thoughts are consumed with a young woman who sacrificed and gave us the wonderful blessing of our son. My heart often aches for this young woman. A woman of whom we have one small picture and a name but nothing more. A woman who gave us something that we desired but could not achieve on our own. A woman whom I have prayed for and thanked God for often. A woman whom I have never met. A woman whom I hold so much gratitude for. A woman who made a choice to give my son life. A woman who holds a part of my son's DNA as part of her own.
On the eve of our son's birthday I pray for this woman. I pray that she will know that Titus is unconditionally loved and cared for. I pray that she will have peace in her decision. I pray that one day she will know the Prince of Peace. I pray for healing for her. I pray for this woman's loss and wish she could know how bright, handsome, and joyful Titus is. I pray that on Titus' birthday that God will comfort and be by her side and whisper reassurances in her heart and mind from one mother to another.
Tomorrow I will celebrate my son's second birthday. I will smile a lot. I will put a candle in the chocolate Elmo cake I will make just for him and watch him blow out the flickering flame. I will take pictures and gush about how cute he is. I will do all the things that a mother does on her child's birthday and be thankful for this woman and for her part in who my son is today.
For adoption is filled with both indescribable losses and unending joy.
Year after year August was a fairly insignificant month on our calendar. The thirty-one days of August would float by without too much significance in our little family's life, minus a couple of special family birthdays scattered about. However, now and forever more, one ordinary day in August is now engraved into our memory and etched in our hearts forever.
August 21st, 2010 is one of those ordinary turned extraordinary days...and I can pinpoint 6:57am as the moment that change our little world. The moment I finally held my son. In the blink of an eye, there he was in the flesh and I was a mother. His mother forever and ever. My heart was filled with more love and joy than it had ever known before.
For four months I had stared at and memorized the thirty-two photos we had, read and re-read the monthly emails about our precious boy, day-dreamed about our little one's personality, and wondered what he was doing at any given moment on the other side of the world.
Today marks one year ago when we finally held our precious boy. Those incredible days have come and gone like a blink of an eye...but not one passes without a prayer of thanks to our Father from a happy mama's heart. Our sweet Titus Andrew, thank you for making every ordinary day extraordinary. Your daddy and I are so proud of you, and we are so very much in love with you.
Thank you Father for this child~and giving us more than we knew to ask for.
Now all glory to God , who is able through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20
Exactly one year ago today, Kevin and I were on our way to finally meet our Titus Andrew. Taking in everything that his birth country is. Loving every second. I never thought it would take me this long to blog our trip. There are several factors as to why. One, we had very limited internet access as well as time while in Taiwan. Two, I was emotionally and physically overwrought and the very idea of processing and trying to put all we were experiencing into words was just too much. We were just living and taking in the moments as they presented themselves. I honestly remember the details vividly that it's like it was yesterday...and I'm thankful for the time I've spent reliving and praising God for that special week.
Of course, Titus is the most important reason behind writing these Taiwan Rewind posts. He won't remember his six months of life and time in Taiwan and so it is my privilege and responsibility to share with him what his daddy and I experienced and saw while we were there. Because of him, I never want to forget a single detail. It's his precious story and the journey of a lifetime for our little family.
On August 17th at 2:34 am we received a phone call from Ted Skiles that he would like us to be in Taiwan in two days or in two weeks. We chose the two days; nothing was going to post-pone me from waiting to hold my little boy another two weeks. After all my prayer through this entire adoption journey was that I would be able to hold my son, on or before his 6th month birthday.
The funny part of this story is my niece and nephew were staying with us for the week because my sister and brother-in-law had to go back to school as they both work for their town's school district. When my sister asked if we would be willing I said sure it will be great parenting practice for us. She then hesitantly asked, "You don't think you'll get a travel call, do you?" My reply was that at best it would be weeks away. And God laughed.
On Friday, August 19th Uncle Eric and Aunt Kate came to pick us up and take us to the airport at 6:30 am. When we pulled away from our home, it was surreal to know that we were leaving as two and coming back as a family of three. Oh, what a glorious day!
We arrived at the airport with plenty of time to check in, pray together, promised to post lots of pictures, gave hugs, talked about the journey that awaited us, and said our good byes.
Kevin and I then sat and waited by ourselves in great anticipation for the journey that awaited us. Our emotions were high. We had no idea what awaited us on the other side of the world, but it didn't matter, we were ready. We had several flights before we would actually be on our way to Taiwan. Honestly, we would spend most of the day traveling or sitting in airports. And somehow due to the International Dateline we would lose an entire day. Our trip consisted of traveling from KC to Dallas, Dallas to LA, and finally LA to Taipei.
Just after 8:30pm we were finally leaving LA and on our way to Taipei. The 14 hour flight was long, but went well. EVA Air did an excellent job of taking care of our every need. We ate some yummy Chinese food, Kevin watched 3 or 4 movies, and I tried to relax.
Every 20 minutes or so I would click my individual flight monitor to see how many miles we had traveled, how many more miles of the 6823 miles we still had to travel, and to watch the progression of our plane over the wide Pacific Ocean. It helped relieve some of the anxiety in my mama's heart to know how much longer it would be until I was FINALLY in my child's birth country.
I'll never forget the rush of emotions that I had as our plane descended and I got my first peek of Taiwan at 10pm on August 20th (Taiwan time). It was hard to see much, but this was it. We meandered our way through customs, thermo scanning, finding our luggage and even stopping to snap a picture or two.
Finally in the crowd we spotted Ted's smiling face. What a welcome sight! We then began our two hour car trip to The Home. It was midnight when we arrived and we were given what we considered our preview of our precious boy. It was sooo hard not to reach out and touch and hold him.
With much restraint we headed to bed. I attempted to sleep, but knowing that my son was close by, I couldn't. Finally, I woke Kevin up at 6:15 am and told him it was time to finally go hold our son. We stayed in the apartment that was about a mile from The Home but that morning that one mile walk seemed to to be ten miles. Finally we arrived at The Home to find out that Titus was still asleep. Thankfully though, Bev allowed us to wake him up. Maybe, my restraint and good behavior the night before helped my case. :) I felt bad waking Titus up from his peaceful slumber, but my aching arms couldn't take it much longer. We tiptoed into the nursery and I slowly lifted him from his bed. He studied us and stared intently at Kevin and me but his overall demeanor was peaceful. We jumped right in caring for his needs: diaper changing, feeding him breakfast, burping, and rocking him.
Our hearts were overflowing with love and joy. We were finally complete. We had waited so long for this day to come and it had been worth every single struggle. Titus has always been meant to be our child and we are blessed to be his parents. Our Father's hand brought us together...only He could of made this happen. To HIM be the glory!!!!
It was one year ago today at 10:30 am we received the unforgettable call from Ted that changed our lives forever. We have a son, Ye, Dz-Hou our precious Titus Andrew. Our little mister man is an amazing blessing to our family and we are grateful God chose us to be his parents. It's been an amazing year and we have loved holding him everyday for the last eight months. Thank you, Father for this precious gift and joy in our lives!
