Make Way For Goslings

One of our favorite nearby parks has a great lake, a walking path and this year baby goslings.  Mommy and Daddy Goose are very protective of their babies so we couldn't get too close without getting hissed at, but thankfully I had my telephoto lens.  We safely watched from afar as the goslings waddle about and explored.  Titus loved the baby goslings and for weeks talked about them almost every day and asked to go see them. 

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was absolutely perfect.  Simple and sweet, just as it should be.  Titus and Kevin surprised me with a violet and planter they had made together at one of their Daddy/Son Build and Grow workshops.  Then, we spent the whole day together as a family of three enjoying brunch, the zoo, and a snow cone shop I have been dying to visit. 

Disappointed that my settings weren't exactly correct and Titus is bit out of focus a bit but he was soooo excited to see...the monkey.

A sleepy boy

Next stop the all natural sweeteners, fresh fruit juice, herbs, no preservatives or artificial colors or flavors snow cone shop.  :)  I've been just a tad excited about trying this place in downtown.  It was delicious! 

Meyer lemon/thyme and blackberry/lavendar

A day like this makes for a very happy mama! 

Tyke on Trike

"Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of a bike ride."  John F Kennedy

Titus loves his tricycle, he is quickly learning
and mastering the art of his new wheels.

First, you receive some great instruction from your daddy.

Then you take off with the wind in your hair.

You stop along the way to check out your trunk.

You fall down and get your first skinned knee.

But, you get back up again.

You ride and ride and ride.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I've been singing and meditating on the old hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness for awhile.  It seems as though the theme for the last several years of our lives has been-WAIT.

a peace that endureth

Waiting for a child to hold in our arms.  Waiting for a new job.  Waiting for a new home.  Waiting for another child.  Waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting. 

strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow

I love when God reveals a piece of the puzzle.  When we finally see the hand of God move.  When He moves the mountains.  When we behold His plan.  When He perfectly provides beyond our desperate prayers and dreams.

 blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside

  

We've been faithful.  We've been frustrated. We've been hesitant.  We've prayed.  We've trusted.  We've sought.  

morning by morning new mercies I see

Last week we sat in awe of His faithfulness and provision.  We praised Him.  We thanked Him.  He once again perfectly provided in His timing.   We celebrated and reveled in His goodness with ice cream.  

as thou hast been thou forever wilt be
  

DST Systems' newest Senior Software Developer

Happy Referral Day!

Kevin and I, we were that couple. The one left with empty arms and heavy hearts while the rest of the couples of the entire world conceived without even trying and gave birth to baby after baby. At least it seemed that way.

And then we were that couple. The one with a spring in our step and smiles as wide as the sea. We held onto hope like it was a kite bouncing in the wind. With adoption everything is up in the air, so we grabbed on and tilted our faces to the sun, catching a glimpse of the beauty at the end of that long string. We pulled tight and waited nine months to the day.

April 24, 2010 came and hope tagged along for the ride across the world. We received the call and heard the name and held the photos of that tiny babe with dark almond eyes and we fell in love. Hard and fast and something fierce. For the first time in what felt like years, we breathed deep. This little wonder all wrapped up in an outfit of light blue and white was our own. The one we had prayed for all along.

Titus Andrew, in your short little life you have experienced grief and loss; joy and love and by God's grace, love sits on top. Being a part of your story and living this life as your mama is a dream and a gift. Your daddy and I are so very proud of you.

Happy Referral Day!  

More than enough

Someone asked me the other day if I still had a blog, and I felt something catch in my throat. You see, I love my blog. I love looking back over this amazing journey God has created. I love our little family.  I love looking back on memories and moments.  I love watching my son grow and reliving the little milestones of his life.   Lately, so many things have come in the way of me having time to keep up on here.  I am learning very quickly that raising, training, disciplining, and teaching a child, keeping a home, and having the marriage I desire is no easy feat.  There are just days I can't do it all.

God blessed me with the loves of my life and I need to be there

for him...

 and for him...

Some days I am left wondering am I ever going to be enough...

good enough
wise enough
strong enough

healthy enough
spiritual enough

mothering enough

teaching enough 

organized enough

 Then I'm left with the realization I never will be.

In the still of the morning, as my feet hit the floor and a new day has begun, I seek His face. And I am reminded once again that I don't have to be. Because He is. He is enough.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

So today, I begin anew.  One foot in front of the other, relying on Him, trusting in Him, seeking His face in all I do.  Blog posts may go unwritten, laundry may pile up, dishes may be waiting in the sink, emails may go unanswered for a few days. However, I keep moving forward even when I fail, when things go undone, even when I can't be enough.  Because He never expected me to be perfect. He never expected me to have all of the answers. He never expected me to do it on my own.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."  II Corinthians 12:9

Sniff, sniff...

My baby isn't such a baby anymore!

Two looks good on you!

Oh my goodness, I can't believe our little mister man is two!  I'm so happy and sad at the same time. I love the little person he's growing up into....but, then I get sad that he's growing so fast. This has been a BIG year of changes for our little guy and we are definitely in full toddler mode. 

The stats:  Titus currently weights 22.4 lbs and is 32 inches tall.  In the last few weeks he has grown out of all of his 12 month clothes.  And this week he outgrew almost all of his 18 month pants.  Whew... He's wearing size 5 shoes and has been for quite awhile, so I suspect we'll be moving to the next size fairly quickly. Currently he is teething.  Those two year molars are a pain.  We've had many meltdowns due to not feeling well and quite often his hands are crammed in his mouth.  Poor baby!

Chatter Box:  I can't even begin to write down all the words Titus says.  His count is in the hundreds. He is very chatty and into repeating anything and everything.  He will continue saying a word until someone has acknowledge his new word.  Most of the time, he will repeat any word you tell him.  It may not be perfect but you can definitely tell what he's trying to say. He is an expert communicator.  He has started to sing multiple songs, The ABC's, Jesus Love Me, The Wheels on the Bus, The B-I-B-L-E.   We sing all of these songs hundreds of times a day.   Just this week he started singing with Daddy and me.  Normally, he likes to be a soloist.  ;)  This has been a fun and new change.  He can pretty much name all vehicles,  (including the different kinds of trucks and construction equipment), all the different animals at the zoo and farm, his body parts, anything related to food (surprise, surprise).  He's putting together simple sentences, "Coming Mommy.", "Daddy pray." "How are you?"  "I need a drink, please."  This has been a lot of fun!  He recently started experimenting with  prepositional words in his vocab which has been interesting.  Oftentimes they are correct, but sometimes they are just funny.  He also says please and thank you.  Bye is very heavy in his vocabulary.  He says bye to everyone and everything.  He also uses bye to let go of something and leave it. Yes, we tell many things bye.

Smarty Pants:  He loves letters!   He's constantly spotting letter on signs, books, trucks, stores and sharing with anyone and everyone what letter(s) he sees.  He recognizes numbers 1-10 and can count to twelve.  He sometimes skips the number 2 but for the most part he has it down.  He can spell and recognize his name.  He recognizes most shapes:  triangle, square, oval, circle, star, heart, wedge, trapezoid, octagon, rectangle, hexagon, and pentagon.  His memory is amazing!  He remembers things that sometimes shocks us.

Mover & Shaker:  He likes to dance.  Put on some peppy music and he will entertain his daddy and me for quite awhile.  He loves music.  And often requests certain songs and music now.  This boy NEVER stops!  Really he loves anything that requires agility.  Climbing equipment and jungle gyms are some of his favorites.  His new fascination is jumping and spinning in circles.  So fun!

Comfort:  The one sure fire way to calm Titus down is to sing Jesus Loves Me to him.  It's worked like a charm since the day we brought him home.  I love the fact that the name of Jesus calms him down and that he has heard His name  and this song since he was a week old at The Home.  

Faves:  His little bear that he's had since he came home is still his favorite.  He always knows where his bear is.  Even though he laid it down several hours earlier or put him inside something generally he can find him again.  He finally named his little bear this past week and he is now known as Mister Bear.  I pray often that we never loose this little bear...what a traumatic day it will be!  His newest craze is Elmo.  We aren't sure how that came into being; those creators are crazy geniuses.  His other faves right now are all trucks especially trash trucks and fire trucks.  We have quite a collection of cars and trucks in our house.  He also still loves books.  We read for hours everyday.  I'm so glad that he has a love for books.  The public library is one of Mommy and Daddy's favorite places!  :)  Drawing has recently become a new activity.  However, he despises coloring in coloring books.  Silly boy!  Give him a blank piece of paper and he'll go to town.  He's definitely a free spirit in the art arena.

 I am really enjoying this stage. It sometimes has it's challenges but overall I am just fascinated how one little boy can be such a baby in some senses, but such a big boy in others.  Usually at the same time.  Some moments I just sit and watch him and am amazed by how these two seemingly distinct beings are inhabiting the same little body.  Everyday brings new milestones, achievements, and challenges.  I wouldn't want to miss any of them and I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

  

Photos captured and created by my friend, Stacy Miller http://shineonphotography.blogspot.com

The Big Two

Two days ago, Titus turned two.  We set the theme due to Titus' love for the fury red character, Elmo.  We laugh because for a year he has loved Elmo despite the fact that we have never watched Elmo, played with Elmo, or read any Elmo books.  Elmo was only on some of his diapers and I think in passing one day I said that the character was Elmo. Nothing more, not a big deal. However, despite my nonchalant attitude about him, Titus loves Elmo dearly.  He can spot Elmo clear across a store even when Daddy and I can't.  Odd....   So, Daddy and I set about to make his day fun filled and full of Elmo.

Friday, I spent the morning in the kitchen creating an Elmo cake.  I breathed an audible sigh of relief when it was finished and prayed that NOTHING would happen to it between then and Saturday.  Nothing happened to the cake...but...Friday night my camera was dropped and my prime lens will not come off.  I'm so sad.  :(  I love my DSLR camera and can't imagine life with out it.  The prime lens is great for taking portrait pictures but not for party pictures.  So despite my best effort we don't have a lot of great pictures of Titus' day.  But, we have a lot of great fun filled memories! 

It was sad thinking about this being the last time we would put our one year old to bed.  But two is fun too!  He was full of smiles and energy and I'm sure he could sense something fun was brewing in the house.

While he was sleeping we wrapped presents, blew up balloons to fill his room and hung streamers in his doorway.  

 

After some balloon fun we enjoyed delicious chocolate chip waffles.  Yummy!  He wasn't sure what to think about the candles in his waffles and being sung Happy Birthday, but he was patient with us. 

The rest of the day was filled up and overflowing with all things birthday.  Titus' day was sprinkled with many of his favorites: food, fun, and family. 

Thanks Georgia, for emailing me this wonderful idea for a veggie plate!  

Titus' red envelope filled with a crisp $2 bill

Titus loved his big day and we are so thankful for all our family that came and showered him with lots of love and gifts.  We are blessed!

From one mother's heart to another

It is the eve before Titus' second birthday and my thoughts are consumed with a young woman who sacrificed and gave us the wonderful blessing of our son.  My heart often aches for this young woman.  A woman of whom we have one small picture and a name but nothing more.  A woman who gave us something that we desired but could not achieve on our own.   A woman whom I have prayed for and thanked God for often.  A woman whom I have never met.  A woman whom I hold so much gratitude for.   A woman who made a choice to give my son life.   A woman who holds a part of my son's DNA as part of her own.

On the eve of our son's birthday I pray for this woman.  I pray that she will know that Titus is unconditionally loved and cared for.  I pray that she will have peace in her decision.  I pray that one day she will know the Prince of Peace.  I pray for healing for her.  I pray for this woman's loss and wish she could know how bright, handsome, and joyful Titus is.  I pray that on Titus' birthday that God will comfort and be by her side and whisper reassurances in her heart and mind from one mother to another.

Tomorrow I will celebrate my son's second birthday.  I will smile a lot.  I will put a candle in the chocolate Elmo cake I will make just for him and watch him blow out the flickering flame.  I will take pictures and gush about how cute he is.  I will do all the things that a mother does on her child's birthday and be thankful for this woman and for her part in who my son is today.

For adoption is filled with both indescribable losses and unending joy.