I love holidays! And I especially love celebrating so many firsts with Titus. Due to both I have many unrealistic expectations of wanting everything to be perfect. Ohhhh how God is teaching me so much through being a parent! Life is not, nor will it ever be, perfect.
Saturday night we went to church and joyfully celebrated the resurrection of our Savior. It was a wonderful service and I always enjoy seeing everyone dressed in their Easter Sunday best, even if it is Saturday. After service we came home, put Titus to bed and I went about getting most of the things done for our trip Sunday morning. Right before bed I read a blog I frequent, Courtney wrote a wonderful post
Does Easter Stress You Out? It was a great reminder and I went to bed filled with peace that I would not be stressed out and it would be a fun day had by all.
Sunday morning we woke up to a beautiful sunny day, ate breakfast, talked to Grandma W., and then proceeded to do some last minute things before leaving to go see family. One of our last minute tasks was to make Easter eggs. Rather than dying eggs this year we did the lovely shrinky-dink egg wrappers. Much faster and less messy with a one year old.
Titus was fascinated by the process. He always loves being involved in helping me prepare things in the kitchen. Since we only did 7 eggs it was over pretty quickly. As soon as we had completed the task I immediately grabbed the pan of boiling water and dumped it down the drain. I was just getting ready to remove him from the counter when I turned to see what Kevin was doing. In those two seconds, Titus reached out and touched the hot burner.... Oh the tears (both Mama and Titus), my heart fell and broke into a million pieces. We washed, comforted, soothed and slathered cream on the burn, checking his hand no less than what felt like a million times. Finally, we got into the car to journey to my parents. The Easter basket ignored. There were many silent prayers of thankfulness we weren't traveling to the hospital and for healing. I was feeling like the worst mother in the world, blaming myself, and feeling as though Easter was ruined. Thankfully, I think due to the trauma and tears Titus fell asleep almost immediately in the car; a true blessing.
About 20 minutes from my parents house the weather changed and our bright, sunny Easter Sunday became more like my attitude: downcast, weepy, and thunderous. The beautiful Easter pictures I had envisioned of Titus in my mom's daffodil beds were gone. The hope of a nice family picture outside in our Sunday best dissipated. The joy of watching Titus enjoy an Easter egg hunt with his cousins in my parents' yard, like my siblings and I had done for years, smashed.
Despite the turbulent morning, we enjoyed a lovely Easter dinner together as family, playing with cousins, talking, and laughing. The rain stopped and after lunch dishes were washed and dried we were able to take the kiddos outside to hunt Easter eggs in the cool afternoon.
Just like the rain, my disappointment and attitude dispelled and I was convicted by the words of one of Titus' books,
What is Easter? It's not about the outfits, my rough and less than ideal morning, weather, Easter egg hunts, or the pictures I had visualized capturing. It's not about me, it's about Him! It's about our Savior, who gave His everything, for us, and because He lives.
Philippians 3:10-12
I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But, I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.
